A cook book for cannibals?

skinbonesOdd as it may sound, yes – I really do have a story in a brand new anthology with a cannibal theme. The book, ‘Skin & Bones’, edited by fellow noir author Dana Kabel, contains stories by no fewer than twenty one crime and noir writers on this rather grisly (or should that be gristly?) subject matter.

My own offering is called ‘Rabbit Stew’ and is based around an old World War 2 joke that my Mum first told me when I was about eight years old. It involves a restaurant owner, wartime rationing, and the wonderful last line “Fifty-fifty, gov, one horse, one rabbit.” Aged eight, I had to have ‘fifty-fifty’ explained to me. Once I got it, I couldn’t stop giggling and it’s become a family joke about the general silliness of statistics.

And now it’s given me the inspiration for a story about an environmental health inspector investigating a ‘greasy spoon’ café and getting a great deal more than he bargained for. It’s gruesome, it’s ghastly, but I’m hoping it’s also funny and perhaps carries an additional message about not sticking your nose in where it’s not wanted unless you have a sure-fire means of escape!

‘Skin & Bones’ is available for pre-order right now and hits your kitchens and dining tables on the 26th November. So grab a plate, a knife and a fork and prepare to tuck in – and don’t say I didn’t warn you…

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Stories are like buses

You get none for a while, then three turn up at once!

In other words, I’m delighted to report that I have three new stories coming out in the next few weeks/months.  All three are in charity anthologies; two are completely new and one is a reprint of a story I had in Betty Fedora #2 before that sold out.

rabbitstewFirst off is ‘Rabbit Stew’, a tongue-in-cheek tale based on an old (and terrible) World War 2 joke my Mum told me years ago, which is due out in Kannibal Cookbook from Down & Out Books soon, with proceeds going to St Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

Then I have a rather more thought-provoking story called ‘Bang to Rights’, about animal liberation activists and the sense of belonging, which should be appearing in Paladins 2, in aid of cancer charities.

Lastly, ‘Last Chance Saloon’, featuring a dirty weekend, a clapped-out car, and a deserted country road, will be re-published in the second Crime & Publishment anthology, working title Wish You Weren’t Here, soon.  This is very much a work-in-progress, but donations will be heading to a respite holiday charity, possibly the Calvert Trust.

Do keep checking back for a revised timetable, cancellations, fares and more, which I’ll post as soon as I have them.  Just don’t get run over by the bus…

Rabbitting good news

rabbitstewI’m dashing in with some good news about the fate of my short story ‘Rabbit Stew’, which has just been accepted to appear in Cannibal Cookbook, edited by Dana Kabel and published by Gutter Books.

The story was inspired by the old wartime joke ‘fifty fifty, guv, one horse, one rabbit’ but the reality is much, much worse!

No firm details yet on when the book’s due but as usual I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops as soon as I know.

What’s cooking

rabbitstewBelieve it or not, my latest work-in-progress is a short story about cannibalism. It’s based on an old World War II joke my Mum told me once (“Fifty fifty, guv – one horse, one rabbit”), which I’ve recycled into something much, much nastier. It might put you off rabbit stew for life.

The story is still rough around the edges so I won’t be doing anything with it until it’s been through a thorough fiddle.

In the meantime, I’d love to know if anyone else has ever come across that particular joke – or if anyone else has used old jokes as a basis for a story.

And if you want to know what else I’ve got ‘on the boil’ (other than suspect stew) check out the ‘in the works’ page. You never know what you might find lurking there.