Not one but two new short stories: ‘Dead Man Walking’ in the Exiles anthology from Blackwitch Press; and ‘The Floor’s the Limit’ in Flash Fiction Offensive/Out of the Gutter Online. Both dark, both twisted, both based on real-life stories but with Tess’s own brand of gallows humour added to the mix. See ‘In the Works’ for more details on both.
A daft little story about a Lancashire man found hiding in a cupboard at a service station/garage in another county caught my eye the other day. There are very few details other than the standard “police are looking into it” (the case, not the cupboard) but it made me smile. Good job they did find him, really. Imagine if he’d locked himself in. He’d have been his very own skeleton in the closet…
I have a new, ultra-short story up at 81Words.net. It’s called Pandora’s Box and the clue is pretty much in the title – what dire secrets will be revealed on a stealthy trip to the attic?
Like all the stories on the site, it’s told in exactly 81 words.
You can find it here; hope you like it – and please don’t forget to rate it, especially if you did like it!
What a nice start to the week – I’ve just heard that Out of the Gutter Online have accepted my latest offering for their Flash Fiction Offensive section.
The story is very loosely based on a scene in the new series of British crime drama ‘Line of Duty’, where a woman was pushed out of a window. In the programme, she fell to her death. In my story, I’ve given the idea a new and cautionary twist, which brings a whole new meaning to the saying ‘look before you leap’.
I’m not sure yet when the Gutter will be publishing the story, but as soon as I find out I’ll pass it on.
A few weeks ago I brought you news of the UK’s dumbest criminal; now it’s America’s turn. This chap tried to rob a bank, dropped the money, fell over, hit his head, and still couldn’t get away because his tyres were flat. Definitely one of those ‘should have stayed in bed’ kind of days!
…but not to get married.
Instead, I’ve booked a place on the Crime and Publishment weekend writing course at the Mill Forge Hotel. The course runs from 7-9 March and includes workshops with published crime writers on topics as wide-ranging as turning an idea into a plot, using your location as a character in its own right, creating realistic dialogue, and pitching your work to a publisher. And on the Sunday, there’s a chance to do just that with the CEO of Caffeine Nights Publishing, an independent British company specialising in crime and noir.
It all sounds really exciting and I can hardly wait!
Nope, this isn’t the gentle art of sliding down haystacks. Apparently, it’s a new internet craze where people write scientific papers or essays featuring an acrostic of a song.
In the example quoted in the current issue of New Scientist magazine (and attributed to Sairam Gudiseva), the essay was an acrostic of a famous Rick Astley song from the 1980s. The first line was “Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900s.” The second read, “Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure…” So far, so scientific. It was only when the New Scientist reader spotted that the next few successive lines began with To, Give, You, Up, Never, Going, To, Let, You, Down that he realised what was going on.
I’m not sure I’d have the patience to construct something that contained all the words of a favourite song and still made sense, but it’s tempting to waste some time having a go…
My hands are currently stained bright crimson, which I’m having problems washing off. So, in shades of Lady Macbeth, have I just committed some grisly murder?
Actually, no. I’ve been peeling beetroot for soup.
It’s amazing how that stuff stains…